Back to Basics :How to win friends and influence people

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As a continuation of my “Going Back to basics” series, anyone who has stuided leadership before knows the importance of excellent communication and people skills.

The more I studied leadership over time,  the more I realized that I needed to spend just as much time reading the top 5 team books as I did learning specific business principles, and applying those principles on a regular basis.  Its been said so many times before by so many great leaders- practices are many, principles are few, practices always Change, principles never do.

My “back to basics” series will help bring to the forefront of your mind, those principles that will bring positive change into your business and personal relationships. As you go thru them, see how many of these principles you truly apply on a daily basis. Please read the book! Until then, here are some summary points I have listed from Dale Carnegie’s timeless book, “How to win friends and influence people”.

How to win friends and influence people summary:

On handling people

Principal #1 Don’t criticize, condemn or complain

Principal #2 Give honest and sincere appreciation

Principal #3 Arouse in the other person an eager want

Six ways to make people like you

Principal #1 Become genuinely interested in other people

Principal #2 SMILE!

Principal #3 Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language

Principal #4 Be a good listener

Principal #5 Talk in terms of the other person’s interest

Principal #6 Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely

How to Win people to your way of thinking

Principle #1 The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it

Principle #2 Show respect for the other persons opinion. Never say “you’re wrong”

Principle #3 If your are wrong,  admit it quickly and emphatically

Principal #4 Begin in a Friendly way

Principal #5 Get the other person saying yes yes immediately

Principal #6 Let the other person do a great deal of the talking

Principal #7 Let the other person feel that the idea was his or hers

Principal #8 Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view

Principal#9 Be empathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires

Principal #10 Appeal to the nobler motives

Principal #11 Dramatize your ideas

Principal #12 Throw Down a challenge

Be a leader: How to change people without giving offense or arousing resentment

Principal #1 Begin with praise and honest appreciation

Principal #2 Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly

Principal #3 Talk about your own mistakes Before criticizing the other person

Principal #4 Ask questions instead of giving direct orders

Principal #5 Let the other person save face

Principal #6 Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.  Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise

Principal #7 Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to

Principal #8 Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct

Principal #9 Make the other person happy about doing the things you suggest

Back to Basics in Leadership

I am starting a new series of posts that focus on going “Back to Basics”. These basics are the foundation of leadership and serve to guide us through not only our  business endeavors but also our personal lives.  By learning and focusing on these timeless principles, the end results are truly amazing.

We can and should all strive to get better at the things that matter in life.  Who wouldn’t want to be a better Mom or Dad to your kids, become a better friend to your buddies,become a better spouse to your significant other, a better co-worker or employee at your job or become a successful business owner, all based on learning and applying these basic principles over time.  The results are truly worth the effort.

I thought Id start with a great video by Chris Brady, who talks about what leadership is. Enjoy and stay tuned for my “back to basics” posts.

Ben